Welcome Back 2.5

Our first day went well, probably because of the plan. Even things with the Bearcub went smoothy. Honeymoon period? Maybe. Our main activities today: establishing the routine, checking out the new school supplies, making our weekly calendar, violin, and the first session of co-op. I find it is really helpful if Nightowl helps design the schedule. Then she knows what's coming!

Re-entry

I shared my flight home from Canada with The Four Bettys, the 2007 International Queens of Harmony. They were crowned on Friday after the contest and, yes, they wore their crowns on the plane. The trip was also shared by members from at least four other choruses and a renowned director. There was singing on board and even a rousing round of applause.

It was that way all week. From my flight out last Monday (I met 12 members of my chorus in the airport) to the taxi to the hotel (cued up with chorus members from New Zealand), to every restaurant we sampled (Anyone have a pitch pipe? Let's sing while we're waiting for our meal), to our day off hiking in the Canadian Rockies (Yes, we ran into Sweet Adelines in the mountains) - it was complete submersion.

We rehearsed daily, shared rooms, hotels, transport. We talked barbershop, costumes, scoring and stats. We discussed coaching and held hands. We sweated through rehearsals. My chorus ate meals together in mass and in small groups. After the contest we hung out in the bar, listened to quartets strolling by and processed our performance.

It was grand, exhilarating, distressing, stressful, joyous, rejuvenating and exhausting. In one week my phsyical and emotional state hit the following hightlights:

• exhaustion from travel preparations
• sick with a horrible head cold
• teary at the spontaneous marriage of a chorus member and her partner (cause they can do that it Canada)
• healed from the aforementioned head cold
• well rested, ready to perform
• excited, exhilerated, and blissful in anticipation
  
• disappointed about our performance
  
• bitter about our performance
• sad about our performance
• awed by the natural beauty of the Canadian Rockies
• dizzy with discussion of our performance, our chorus and the state of Sweet Adelines
  
• breathless at the sight of Lake Louise
• exhausted from travels
• peaceful from the mountains
  
• resigned to our performance and the results
• positive about our performance and the results
• happy with the trip
  
• ready to move foward.

All of this in seven days. Whew. True we were not happy with our performance, we knew we could have done better. However, we did place 12th and that's a great thing. We did get to sing, gloriously, in the Calgary Saddledome to an audience of thousands. We did get a standing ovation. Nothing to sneeze at.

I had my last dose of convention during the ride home from the airport. Our driver had recorded our performance and three of us huddled around a latop computer, watching, as we wound our way home in the dark, early morning hours. What did I notice? Simply that this hobby is quite wonderful.

I woke on Monday to a school field trip and children whiney from too much time away from Mom. It was wonderful to see them and hand out my presents. Nightowl asked me quite seriously: "Why didn't you win Mommy?" (She had watched the webcast here at home.)

After I explained that we hadn't done our best on stage she asked again - "Why not?" Nerves? Lack of focus? Insecurity? We talked about all of it. Her next question took me by surprise: "Will you give up?"

My answer was, of course not - because while it is easy to get wrapped up in the contest, the real joy is the singing. That's what it's all about - the singing. Then she made a lovely mental leap and brought up her violin playing and how the songs are getting harder, but more beautiful. There are days that she wants to give up, but she doesn't. Together we plow through with our individual struggles to learn notes and create music. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Her last question: What did you bring me? I brought out the maple candy and quartet CDs I'd brought home. Then I showed her the picture of the mountains and Lake Louise and described my day hiking in the icy cold air near the glacier. Her last gift: a glacial rock for her nature collection. She seemed quite satisfied.

Me? I'm getting re-grounded. Re-entry is always a bit awkward. I exclaimed joyfully when a chorus member called yesterday evening - it had been a whole day since I'd seen her. And I've got the barbershop music playing constantly. And I'm still processing all of it. And I'm getting ready for our next concert and checking out our newest piece of music, the oh-so-challenging "Good-bye, World." And my job is calling. And my kids are calling. And I'm glad it is all still here. And I'm waiting for the DVD of our Calgary performance and our next rehearsal. Back to life. Back to reality. Happy sigh.

Photos: #1 - CCC Singing the Ballad in Calgary, #2 - CCC Singing the Up-tune in Calgary (check me out!) #3- Lake Louise and Victoria Glacier, Alberta Canada, Canadian Rockies, #4 - Chataeu Fairmont, Lake Louise

Keeping House

In early August I attended a two-day conference with Barbara Dewey. One of the things I took away from this event was the charge to put one's house in order before planning the school year. I had taken a small stab at scheduling near the end of summer and it had glorious results so I was game. I did some serious thinking about what needs to happen in our lives before schooling. The short list I came up with:

1. Bearcub's nap,
2. cleaning the house,
3. one day to do my paid work (yes, I have an outside job!),
   
4. family time,
   
5. church,
6. care for the pets,
   
7. home cooked meals, and
   
8. a general sense of calm.

Sounds good. Then I looked at our outside activities - for all family members. They are:

1. Nightowl's Violin lessons - twice a week,
2. Horse back riding - Nightowl - one a week,
3. Homeschool park day,
4. playgroup,
   
5. Rehearsal night - me (I sing in a group),
6. Bookclub - me,
7. Bookclub - Chillymama,
8. church committees, and
9. Spanish class - Chillymama

Ok, things are getting full. Next I looked at our weekly homeschooling activities:

1. Main lesson,
2. form drawing,
   
3. painting,
   
4. clay work,
   
5. music practice,
6. Coop class,
   
7. permaculture class,
   
8. handwork/crafts, and
   
9. circle time.
   

Alrighty, there's a lot on this list. But I took small step, started with the first list, and reflected on Nightowl's rhythm, when Bearcub naps and other items that are inflexible (lessons, rehearsals etc.). Then we plugged them into a grid and - wow - we've got time for everything.
I drew up a grid and as one of our starting second grade lesons Nightowl and I filled it in with illustrations. It now resides proudly on our fridge. We look at it every day.


As long as I don't get over zealous we can make it work. Priorities are different for me this year. For example, I don't feel that every homeschool activity needs a product for the main lesson book (more on this in future posts). I'm also coming to terms with cleaning house in bits and pieces. Plus, I now realize that activities don't need to be hours long - some just take a few minutes. And most important: as much as possible I let go of the clock. There are no times on our schedule. I can remember when the inflexible things happen but as for the rest - it fits in as it can. And you know, it's working. I'm more relaxed because there is time, planned time, for everything. That nagging worry of when it will get done is gone. What a relief.

This was fun

I tried this after seeing it on Sara's blog and...ta da: I'm a daffodil!

I am a Daffodil What Flower Are You?

Here's the description: You have a sunny disposition and are normally one of the first to show up for the party. You don't need too much attention from the host once you get there as you are more than capable of making yourself seen and heard.

Nice.

Ok, so I'm a daffodil, sunny and etc. etc. Only, here's my big secret - I only recently turned sunny again. In fact during the end of April and most of May I was down right cranky. That's why I haven't been posting much these days. Nor have I been on the web or reading blogs or anything. I was burned out. Fizzled. Why? The end of the school year, Chillymama quit her job, found a new job, started a new job (with three hour round trip commute - oh boy!), my relaxing hobby stopped being so relaxing, work kept me from sleeping, I am a parent, and etc. etc.

And on and on. One evening, in a rant, I found myself wondering how I got to be such a negative, pessimist. Was I always that way? So I stopped and took a good long look at my over reacting, cranky, drama queen self and decided: If nothing changes, nothing changes. Thus:

• I began focusing on getting sleep - long real sleep. This means no late night computing.
  
• I stopped working at night. I now have a helper who comes once a week, while I'm at home, to be with the kids so I can get a day for work. Miraculous.
  
• I set an end date for our school year, June 6, and we quit completely for the summer: no "lessons," no music rehearsal, no recitals, no planning, no nothing.
  
• I started yoga again (I used to teach...oh, so long ago.)
• I let go of cooking - we still eat wholesome, it's just that now we're on the simple, warm-up plan.
  
• I started biking and recently did a tri-athalon.
  
• I refocused on being with my kids.
• I planned a family vacation.
  
• I started reading for pure pleasure.
  
• I worked on being supportive to Chillymama and her career decisions, rather than harping on what should be happening.
  
• I stopped critiquing myself for every little thing.

Guess what happened? My sunny-ness returned! Keeping the focus on me has, of course, put everything else in perspective. To put it bluntly - it's all about me. Funny, but true. Taking care of one's self is an imperative part of functioning in a healthy way. Now that my perspective is clearing (I'm really not a negative fiend by nature - whew!) life is on the upswing. As a family we've made the decision to: keep homeschooling (seemed a little touch and go there for a minute), work on our relationship with a little outside help, take more time for each other, and say "No" more often if the activity seems like it will disrupt our family life.

I've also noticed that Nightowl has learned an amazing amount this past year (yay homeschooling), that at two Bearcub is not only challenging, she's engaging and loving and cuddly and fierce, and that I create quite a bit of my own stress.

As my sunny-ness returns I'm getting refilled and finding I have a little more to give each day. We did lots during the month of May - that I'll post eventually. Bearcub had a birthday, Nightowl had a birthday, summer camp has started and things are looking up. I'm even starting to think about our next year. I might even make plans - eventually. But for now, my focus is on refilling and rebuilding my daffodilish self - and seriously, my work here is not even close to done.

A Grumpy Day

That's what it's been. Due to anxiety in other areas of my life I'm not sleeping so I'm exhausted and nervous. Nightowl, having been cooped up in-doors due to cold weather is fidgety and whiney. Bearcub is....well, she's nearly two, enough said.

This morning my kids kept poking me:

"Mommy, get up we want breakfast!" - Nightowl
"Eggs!" - Bearcub
"Mrrumph" - Me, pulling the pillow over my head.

Ok, I got up. We did our thing but overall it was a kinda grumpy, blah day. This morning Nightowl announced "Mommy, I need time to play today." She disappeared into her room aka the land of dolls and make believe. Bearcub would not allow herself to be dressed and spent much of the morning in a diaper, one snowboot (the right) and a frilly headband, all the while demanding:

"Mama! Coat! Cold!"
"How about clothing?" I'd suggest picking up the outfit for the 15-millionth time.
"Noooooo!"

And then she ran screaming the other way. Our house has a circular floor pattern so giving chase has all the makings of a cartoon adventure.

Eventually we pulled it together (sort of). Nightowl descended to help make the bread, play the violin, read some books, and do science experiments at the kitchen work table.

"What happens if I mix cornstarch, water AND potato starch...ooooh!"

Bearcub did eventually dress, this of course was only after she had removed her diaper and dumped it's contents which....well, let's just say it was pretty disgusting.

At the end of the day we headed outside for some snow play and driveway shoveling. In some ways, an hour outside cured everything. As we headed in for dinner ("Not leftovers again!" - Nightowl) we discussed the prospect of snow ice cream for dessert. This sweetness was wonderful and cheered us all. Of course, Bearcub did have quite a fit when, while trying to help make the ice-cream, she grabbed the bowl, dumped it's contents and was immediately removed from the area. But what can I say? She's nearly two. Heaven help us all.

Snow Ice Cream Variation #1
1 egg beaten
1 tbs vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups whole milk
Mix all ingredients, add clean snow, serve.

Snow Ice Cream Variation #2
2 cups full fat coconut milk
1 tbs vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
Mix all ingredients, add clean snow, serve.

Rhythm...Again

Back when we started this little homeschooling adventure I posted a couple of times about schedules and rhythm. The months have passed and oh, how much I have learned.

I now know that:
1. Rhythm has little, if anything, to do with schedules.
2. Schedules, like all rules, are made to be broken.

So, on we go. We are completing the same activities - sort of - only now they happen a bit more naturally; more in rhythm and not so forced. It's good. A trifle frightening for a control freak like me...but I'm getting used to it. Sort of.

Rage

We've been having a hard time here lately - there's been no time to post. We're still schooling and muddling through but it's been stressful and difficult. My job has kept me working long, long hours so my sleep is short - I'm quite lucky to get 3-4 hours per night. Chillymama's office gig is also extrememly demanding right now. There's lots of tension.

Our trip to LA came amidst lots of work chaos and wasnt' really very relaxing. It was fun. But it was work. Truthfully, it was a bad time for a trip. This month (and much of October) has been filled to capacity. I simply have no time for anything beyond working and doing the bare minimum to get by.

When I am exhausted beyond measure feelings turn to rage. My coping strategy is to hold it in, not let it errupt. But more than a month of repression takes it's toll. I'm edgy and often near panic. This leaks out in the household and I can feel my kids shrinking away. It's horrible. I even imagine giving up - on homeschooling, work, relationships - life. Not really an option.

I had a wonderful talk with a friend today. I called her after she sent an email asking: "Where are you? I haven't seen you since September." It was wonderful to talk to her. We discussed the stress and the rage and the joy. My spirit feels much, much lighter.

It all makes me wonder why I don't reach out or call out more often. Why hold it in? Why the need to sort it out all by myself? I'm not sure. But I'm glad for the connection I made today. It's why I'm including this in a post. I need to talk about it more.

The best part of everyday is the time I spend unschooling with my kids. But this gift has a cost. We are not wealthy. We choose to give up income and follow this path. For that reason I work in the evenings. And Chillymama remains working in a stable job with wonderful benefits for us all. Sacrifices all around - by choice.

This life we've created is not all chalk pictures and hand crafts. At times it feels effortless but at others it feels brutal and suffocating. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - at least for me. My deadlines are nearing and my 40-60 hours per week job should ease up to it's normal 10 hours by early to mid-December. Then we can find our rhythm again.

I'm looking forward to that.

What type of homeschooling do you practice?

I get this quesiton a lot. Mostly in conversation with friends, relatives or others who are out there, silently reading the blog. It's good to know you're there. :-)

So, here's the answer: We do what we need to do, as it works for us. How's that for elusive?

If I have to give a more defined answer I'd say that we defy categorization. I've never been one for following rules. Although we honor the schedule, understand the need for structure, and have a few tried and true beliefs, rigidity in any form is not our way.

That said, for those who'd like to know here are three areas we fit into:

#1
Unschooling. Unschooling is a term coined by educator John Holt. He wrote many works about revamping public schools and how kids learn. Unschooling is kind of a hot topic these days. We are not radical unschoolers or parents who use the label and then ignore what happens. Rather, we try to follow our kids' lead; their natural curiosity generates their will to learn. We simply help them find the means. For more info check out this article: What is Unschooling? or The Sudbury Valley School.

#2
Waldorf Inspired. Waldorf is a method developed by Rudolf Steiner, an Austrian Philosopher in the early 1900s. This method emphasized child development and art. We say Waldorf Inspired because we don't follow Waldorf exclusively. There is a lot I like about the Waldorf method, especially for the younger ages, in fact Waldorf inspired pedagogy is what we are mainly following these days (within our schedule and lesson blocks). However, some of the philosophy simply does not work for our family in this modern age. There is an intersting article entitled Oak Meadow and Waldorf that talks about this very topic. Oak Meadow is a Waldorf inspired homeschooling curriculum used by many. We use it and really like it. For more information check out this site: Waldorf Homeschoolers. Plus there are some Waldorf Resources within the links to the right.

#3 Core Knowledge. Core Knowledge Foundation is a non-profit that conducts research on curricula and developes materials. It was founded in the late 80s by Edward Hirsh and offers a variety of books on what the foundation deems: core knowledge. The Core books were created to be used by teachers in the classroom and as supplements by parents of publically schooled children. We like the series "What Your ___ Grader Needs to Know." These are pretty rigid books, but they are well written, easy to follow and provide a good map of what a child might be ready for. Lots of homeschoolers use this series as the basis of their schooling. We like them and use them mostly as reference points and to see what public schooled kids of the same age might be up to. I also get some good ideas for answering questions that Nightowl frequently poses.

So there you go, that's how we homeschool - most of the time. While we draw from these sources we don't use them exclusively and sometimes we use them not at all. Sometimes we look at work by Charlotte Mason, Suzuki, various library materials, UU materials or we draw from our own experience. We also get a lot of information and ideas from other homeschoolers. We are finding that there is no single, correct map for learning. Our kids don't fit conveniently into any mold - and we like them that way.

Right on!

I found this article: No Room For Site Inclusive of All, originally published in June 2005, when I was puttering around the UU Homeschoolers site today. Don't know why I didn't see it before.

Here's my favorite quote:

"With the homeschooling movement growing in popularity, experts say the philosophical mind-set is shifting to include more people who see home education as an extension of good parenting rather than an outgrowth of religious instruction."

Check it out!

Also don't miss: Unitarian Universalist Homeschoolers

What I Know Now

Monday was a sick day. Nightowl had been up breathing steam at midnight so this wasn't too surprising. What was surprising was the whole concept of "sick day." I remember as a kid that sick day meant relaxing, doing nothing, getting well while watching t.v. As a parent I recall sick days from the time when I was working or when we were doing preschool - the need to arrange childcare, the worry about what we would do ALL DAY LONG. Yikes.

The homeschool sick day is a horse of another color - largely, I suspect, because of my new attitude toward home and activities. So it was a sick day - but we're already home. Nightowl took it easy and stayed on the couch until lunch and during quiet time, after which she was feeling better. What did we do? Exactly what we always do - minus the physcial stuff. We worked on our natural science block, did some reading, some art, learned a little bit more Russian.

The school work we do is no longer "school work" it's everyday. It's what we do. For us learning is no longer a separate activity as in "Now it's time to do school." It just is. I was trying to explain this and our general way of life now to a friend whose kids go to public school. I had a hard time explaining. She laughed and called us all "a bunch-o-buddhas." Which is a good thing - I think? Words from those within the eastern religions.

Anyway, this is now the way and it seems to be working. Today was our second (sorta) sick day - although Nightowl was much better and even went to soccer practice this evening. We spent our craft time working on pop-up faces - a cool little craft that came to us from Wonder Homeschool. Neat!

The Most Important Things

There are three things that, I've discovered, are absolutely integral to our daily success. They are:
1 - The daily walk.
2 - Quiet time.
3 - Free time.

#1 - We try to always take our daily walk first thing right after breakfast. I load up the dogs, the Bearcub and Nightowl and we're off. At this point we can make it nearly a mile (Nightowl's legs get tired) at a slow pace. This walk really soothes our souls, wakes us up (we're not morning folks) and provides a good transition for our morning lesson. On a couple of occasions we've had to skip our walk - we could tell. Our moods were funny, our legs ached, and we felt itchy. We need it everyday.

#2 - I initiated quiet time after another homeschool mom noted that her kids were early readers because "I make them have an hour of quiet reading everyday." Interesting. I'm all for reading. I like quiet time. Viola! We take ours daily from 1:30-2:30 (give or take 30 minutes). Bearcub goes down for a nap. Nightowl gathers books, puzzles, and drawing supplies and heads for the bean bag in the playroom. She props up a pillow and grabs a blanket if it's chilly. During this time she gets a special quiet time drink - lemonade, hot tea, banana smoothy. I must make myself sit - no telephone, no email - and read or knit or nap. One whole hour. It rocks.

#3 - Despite the schedule I'm not a stickler and freetime is a most wonderful homeschooly thing. It's exactly that - we all do what we need to do. Play (Nightowl), throw and dump (Bearcub) or assorted chores (Me). Fabulous.

I'm finding that the kids really need these anchor points - even during weekends or holidays. These three things ground us and make our learning work. The ability to provide daily selfcare feels like a gift that I'm giving myself and my kids.

Rhythm

When I began thinking about homeschooling the number one question I asked everyone was: What does your day look like? What do you do? I had a strange visions of neat little rows of desks in my living room mixed up with relaxed scenes of sleeping in late and following our dreams.

Now that we're officially homeschooling - parents know, friends know, you could say we're quite out about it - I've been considering this question a lot. For the record our days and weeks look something like this:

Breakfast
Walk
Main Lesson
Playtime
Music
Lunch
Naptime for the Bearcub, Quiet reading time for Nightowl, feet up for me.
Snacks
Crafts - or - Foreign Language - or - Watercolor Painting - or - Seasonal Festivities

Everyother Thursday we attend a two-hour session of "The Learning Club" through our local homeschool cooperative. On Fridays Nightowl joins a group for a three-hour-Waldorf-inspired class on World Folktales, while the Bearcub and I have a mom and baby music class followed by some good one-on-one time.

We usually begin this routine about 9 and end around 3:30. We spend as much of our time as possible outdoors. Within all that is time for household chores - laundry, the making of dinner, etc. etc. - wild out door play, and baby dance party. After dinner we have the extra-curricular activities: soccer and violin.

Our Main Lessons are grouped into three or four week blocks - where we work within one subject intensively. At the end of the block we switch. Our block schedule for this fall is as follows:
Form Drawing
Natural Science
Language Arts
Mathmatics

But that's only 12-16 weeks? Ah, we have also scheduled our week long autumn vacation and several weeks to prepare for holidays/festivals (Equinox, Samhain/Day of the Dead, Thanksgiving, Solstice) not to mention the occassional day off.

I did not create this schedule - it evolved. Waldorf and Waldorf inspired pedagogy suggest following natural rhythms. Lesson blocks follow the rhythm of the seasons, daily schedules follow the natural in-flow and out-flow of energy, similar to breathing. Now, I cannot speak or teach Waldorf philosophy (you'll have to google to find those answers) but I did quite a bit of study and finally got quiet and the schedule evolved. Our days follow a basic Waldorf pattern of top-to-bottom noted as Head (Main Lesson), Heart (Music or Art), Hands (Craft). Of course we deviate somewhat and sometimes skip everthing entirely - that's the beauty of the homeschool. We can also sleep in when we need to....which happens...alot.

It's still evolving - just last night Nightowl and I discussed playing violin together in the evenings instead of during the day. Bearcub is usually in bed, it's twilight, and the music is lovely. It could work. Or not. We'll just keep with the flow and bend with the rhythm.